Goodbye Jakey Boy

Happiness is a warm puppy.  -Charles M. Schulz

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.  -Will Rogers

In times of joy, all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag.  -W.H. Auden

It's just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn't it?  It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.  -John Grogan

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.  -Anatole France

 

Dogs' lives are too short.  Their only fault, really.  -Agnes Sligh Turnbull

Jake came to live with us about 6 years ago in November of 2007.  A girl whose parents gave him to her as a gift to help her heal after she was in a horrific accident went off to school back East and they decided to find him a new home.  So, we agreed to take him for a weekend just to test him out around our 2 other dogs and small kids.  He did great and they all got along famously so we decided to bring him into our family.  Oliver was only 12 weeks old and Berkeley had just turned 2.  He was a massive, attention starved dog with stinky farts and horrible table manners.  We thought he'd be a good friend and distraction for Sterling who had recently lost her best dog friend and cousin, Payton.  They became fast friends.  They laid on the couch together, went to the park together and of course went to the office together where everyone promptly fell in love with him.

On Jake’s AKC papers, his official name was Jake Pierce II.  His dad was Buckingham Blaze and his mom was Zeiger Von Blum.  We decided to call him Jake Winslow instead.  It just fit.  We had tons of nick names for him though.  Some of which include:  Mr. Jake, Big Jake, Jakers, Jakey Boy, Jakey Baby, Gertie (short for Galloping Gertie cause when he used to be able to run he would thunder past us), and, one of my favorites, Walter.

Jake was a total love and would have been a lap dog had he managed to get away with it.  He was the kindest, sweetest dog I think I have ever known.  He eventually went to live full time with Jerry when we had our 3^rd baby and began building our house.  We sold the house we were in at the time and lived someplace where 2 big dogs and 3 kids wouldn’t really fit.  So, he went to live at “The Ritz” with Jerry.  And, boy, what a life he had.  He had his own Restoration Hardware chaise that he slumbered on every night.  Each evening around 8 pm he’d begin bark to let Jerry know he was ready for his “cuddle time”.  Jer would sit on the couch to accommodate him and Jake would rest his massive head on Jer’s lap and cover Jer’s hand with his enormous paw.  He was so cuddly and warm and he was a great dog to curl up with on a cold winter night.

On Monday, July 22, 2013, we had to say goodbye to our beloved boy.  He got extremely sick the previous Friday and wouldn’t eat or drink the whole weekend.  Anybody who knows Jake knows that he lives for food so we knew something was seriously wrong.  He was on medication for arthritis and we think his liver failed.  He was so weak by Monday, that he could barely even stand long enough to go to the bathroom.  He just laid shaking in his bed with the saddest eyes.  So, we made the heart wrenching decision to say good bye.  He was letting us know it was time.  He was ready.

I took the kids over to him that morning to say goodbye.  I didn’t want to tell them we were having him “put to sleep” because they have no concept of what that means.  I got them in the car and told them that Jake was really sick and probably not going to make it much longer, so we were going over to Jerry’s house to give him hugs and kisses and loves.  We talked to him and loved on him for a while and then they went to their Grandma’s house right before his appointment.  We took him in at 10:30 with tears streaming down our faces.  We got him comfortable on the floor, gave him tons of kisses and whispered how much we loved him and how great of a dog he was.  He laid his head down for the last time in Jerry’s lap, I wrapped my arms around his body and Tom laid his hand on his chest and we let him go.  It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  He was gone in about 20 seconds and he finally looked so peaceful and free of pain.  I felt relieved for him, but heartsick for us.

Jake, you have no idea how much we miss you buddy.  Although we are relieved for you that you are free of pain, there is a huge hole in our family.  The grief is raw.  The kids were so sad when we told them you died.  Telling them was horrendous.  Oliver immediately started to sob.  He loved you so much.  You were his favorite out of all the dogs.  He used to love sitting next to you on the couch with his arm around your neck while he watched TV.  Berkeley just stood there silently trying not to cry and looking like she was in shock.  Finley cried, not because she really understood that she'd never see her "Jatey (Jakey) Baby", but because Oliver was crying and so upset.  We all knew it was coming and that it was inevitable, but that doesn’t make saying goodbye any less painful.  This fall when school starts, it’s going to be really strange when you are not out at the bus stop like you’ve been every morning for the past 2 years.  That is going to take some getting used to.  Bed time prayers are especially hard.  We still pray for you every night that you’re happy in heaven and enjoying your new legs.  We ask Jesus to give you big hugs and kisses for us and to let you know that we miss you and love you.  We keep talking about how you must be having so much fun running on strong, healthy legs, eating huge steak dinners and then taking long, lazy naps in the warm sun up there.  Only to get up and do it all again the next day! Somehow that thought makes the ache of missing you lessen just a bit.

Sterling misses you too.  So much.  She is 10 and slowing down as well.  She has lost 2 best friends now and I hurt for her.  She seems pretty sad and lost without you puppy.  I can’t even fathom having to say goodbye to her too someday.  But, at least she’ll have 2 great buddies to meet up with in heaven.  You were a wonderful companion to her.  Watching the two of you sleep on the couch was so comforting.  Our two sweet weims cuddled up together, snoring.  You not only helped heal the girl who originally had you, you healed Sterling after the loss of her first best friend.  Thank you for that Jake.

So sweet Jakers, thank you for all the love and cuddles over the years.  Thank you for all the special memories and funny stories we have of you.  Thank you for clearing the table and the floor and even for the bad breath and stinky farts.  Thank you for all the joy and pure sweetness that was your life.  We love you big guy.

Jake Winslow Potts-Sailer
July 1, 2001-July 22, 2013

                                                  

A Letter to Jake

                                                                                                                         

July 1, 2013

Dear Jake,

You are 12 years old today.  As much as I don’t want to think about it or face it, it is most likely the last birthday we will celebrate with you.  Our days with you are numbered.  You no longer get off the couch to get a treat that has landed just short of your reach.  A month ago on a hot day you wore yourself out in the yard and were trying to make your way up the side of the house in order to avoid going up the porch stairs and you got stuck in the gravel and couldn’t get up.  Luckily our neighbor saw you struggling and he jumped over the fence to help.  Between the 2 of us, we carried you the rest of the way into the house.  His wife went inside crying because she couldn’t watch it.  I struggled not to burst into tears in front of Mr. Al and the kids, but the awful truth glares at me whenever I see you fall or slip or struggle.  As much as I want to close my eyes and not face reality, we don’t have long with you Mr. Jake.

And so, I want to write a letter to you to thank you.   Thank you for being such a great dog.  Thank you for being such a gentle giant with our kids.  Thank you for having a great big bear of a neck for me to hug when I need a great big bear hug.  Thank you for cuddling with me on the couch and resting your enormous head in my lap with your monstrous paw on top of my hand.  Thank you for letting me pet your velvet, ‘dumbo’ ears.  You have the best ears Jakey Boy.  Thank you for letting me give you kisses every time I walk by you on the couch.  I must have given you thousands of kisses in the past year.  Maybe even a million.  I can’t resist, do you know how handsome you are?

Thank you for coming into our family.  You were 6 years old when we had the opportunity to bring you home.  I wasn’t sure how you would fit in with a 2 yr old, a 12 week old and 2 other dogs.  It was a non-issue.  You let the kids tug on you and you let Ridley bite your ankles.  You never once got mad at her even though you were attacked by a small dog when you were younger.  Whenever she would nip at your ankles you would just shake her off and occasionally give a tremendous bark.  Being the drama queen that she is, she’d screech in fear and run away shaking, but you never once hurt her.  Or anyone for that matter, even though you are a pretty intimidating figure! 

Thank you for being a best friend to Sterling.  She lost her best friend in the whole world before you came to live with us and she was pretty sad.  I didn’t think anyone could ever replace her best friend, but you know what, sweet Jake?  You did.  It was fun to watch the two of you get acquainted.  You, who are so laid back and nonchalant about everything, and Sterling who is wired tight as a drum and oh so excitable.  Even still, at 10 years old, she is such a puppy around you at times.   When you two have been separated for a few hours she is so incredibly happy to see you.  She does just what she did with her cousin Payton all the those years ago…she runs full blast at you , crashes into you and nibbles away on your ears and neck.  And you, always a perfect gentleman, sit there stoically and let her.

You went to the vet last week.  We wanted to know how much longer we should let you go.  You’ve been so loyal and loving and we don’t want to be selfish in holding onto you if you are in huge amounts of pain. But we can’t make that decision on our own.  We need someone to make it for us. I kept saying, “Just one more summer, just one more summer.  We’ve got to have him for one more summer.”   The Dr. told us that you could go through the summer.  Right now I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world.  She said that your legs will get worse in the winter of course and we’ll just take it day by day, month by month and see how you do.  Your eyes are getting cloudy and it’s painful to watch you struggle through the horrendous ache of arthritis.  The hardest part about it is, you never complain.  You are strong and brave and quiet, which makes it so very hard to know how long to keep you going.  We don’t want you to suffer buddy.  You deserve to go with the same dignity, love and grace that you have shown your whole life.  It’s just such an impossible decision.  How can we let you go?

For a long time we commented on how lucky you were to get a new life…to come and live with us and at Jerry’s house at “The Ritz”.  I never thought it was possible to really, truly fall head over heals in love with a dog that we didn’t bring home as a brand new puppy.  It took a little while, but you have proven me 100% wrong.  I adore you Jakers.  You weren’t the lucky one, we were.  So, you know what?  I am going to savor this last summer with you.  I am going to give you a thousand more kisses every day.  I am going to savor the feel of those velveteen ears and the weight of that humongous head lying on my lap.  I am going to savor the sweet scent of your paws and the smell of your hot, albeit stinky, breath. I am going to whisper every time I kiss you that you are a good boy and that we love you so much.  Just wanted you to know…we treasure you Jake.  You are a gift, sweet puppy.