A Letter to Jake

                                                                                                                         

July 1, 2013

Dear Jake,

You are 12 years old today.  As much as I don’t want to think about it or face it, it is most likely the last birthday we will celebrate with you.  Our days with you are numbered.  You no longer get off the couch to get a treat that has landed just short of your reach.  A month ago on a hot day you wore yourself out in the yard and were trying to make your way up the side of the house in order to avoid going up the porch stairs and you got stuck in the gravel and couldn’t get up.  Luckily our neighbor saw you struggling and he jumped over the fence to help.  Between the 2 of us, we carried you the rest of the way into the house.  His wife went inside crying because she couldn’t watch it.  I struggled not to burst into tears in front of Mr. Al and the kids, but the awful truth glares at me whenever I see you fall or slip or struggle.  As much as I want to close my eyes and not face reality, we don’t have long with you Mr. Jake.

And so, I want to write a letter to you to thank you.   Thank you for being such a great dog.  Thank you for being such a gentle giant with our kids.  Thank you for having a great big bear of a neck for me to hug when I need a great big bear hug.  Thank you for cuddling with me on the couch and resting your enormous head in my lap with your monstrous paw on top of my hand.  Thank you for letting me pet your velvet, ‘dumbo’ ears.  You have the best ears Jakey Boy.  Thank you for letting me give you kisses every time I walk by you on the couch.  I must have given you thousands of kisses in the past year.  Maybe even a million.  I can’t resist, do you know how handsome you are?

Thank you for coming into our family.  You were 6 years old when we had the opportunity to bring you home.  I wasn’t sure how you would fit in with a 2 yr old, a 12 week old and 2 other dogs.  It was a non-issue.  You let the kids tug on you and you let Ridley bite your ankles.  You never once got mad at her even though you were attacked by a small dog when you were younger.  Whenever she would nip at your ankles you would just shake her off and occasionally give a tremendous bark.  Being the drama queen that she is, she’d screech in fear and run away shaking, but you never once hurt her.  Or anyone for that matter, even though you are a pretty intimidating figure! 

Thank you for being a best friend to Sterling.  She lost her best friend in the whole world before you came to live with us and she was pretty sad.  I didn’t think anyone could ever replace her best friend, but you know what, sweet Jake?  You did.  It was fun to watch the two of you get acquainted.  You, who are so laid back and nonchalant about everything, and Sterling who is wired tight as a drum and oh so excitable.  Even still, at 10 years old, she is such a puppy around you at times.   When you two have been separated for a few hours she is so incredibly happy to see you.  She does just what she did with her cousin Payton all the those years ago…she runs full blast at you , crashes into you and nibbles away on your ears and neck.  And you, always a perfect gentleman, sit there stoically and let her.

You went to the vet last week.  We wanted to know how much longer we should let you go.  You’ve been so loyal and loving and we don’t want to be selfish in holding onto you if you are in huge amounts of pain. But we can’t make that decision on our own.  We need someone to make it for us. I kept saying, “Just one more summer, just one more summer.  We’ve got to have him for one more summer.”   The Dr. told us that you could go through the summer.  Right now I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world.  She said that your legs will get worse in the winter of course and we’ll just take it day by day, month by month and see how you do.  Your eyes are getting cloudy and it’s painful to watch you struggle through the horrendous ache of arthritis.  The hardest part about it is, you never complain.  You are strong and brave and quiet, which makes it so very hard to know how long to keep you going.  We don’t want you to suffer buddy.  You deserve to go with the same dignity, love and grace that you have shown your whole life.  It’s just such an impossible decision.  How can we let you go?

For a long time we commented on how lucky you were to get a new life…to come and live with us and at Jerry’s house at “The Ritz”.  I never thought it was possible to really, truly fall head over heals in love with a dog that we didn’t bring home as a brand new puppy.  It took a little while, but you have proven me 100% wrong.  I adore you Jakers.  You weren’t the lucky one, we were.  So, you know what?  I am going to savor this last summer with you.  I am going to give you a thousand more kisses every day.  I am going to savor the feel of those velveteen ears and the weight of that humongous head lying on my lap.  I am going to savor the sweet scent of your paws and the smell of your hot, albeit stinky, breath. I am going to whisper every time I kiss you that you are a good boy and that we love you so much.  Just wanted you to know…we treasure you Jake.  You are a gift, sweet puppy.